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75 Short Jokes to Make Anyone Laugh

For when you need the laughs to come fast!

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What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Short jokes to make anyone laugh - I invented a word!Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

I invented a new word:

Plagiarism!

These funny good morning GIFs will start your day with a smile.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Don’t miss our roundup of the best Reader’s Digest jokes of all time.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Why do we tell actors to break a leg?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”

Because every play has a cast.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a barPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar

“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the roadPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

Don’t miss these clever grammar jokes every word nerd will appreciate.

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jokes to make anyone laugh - how many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Math jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

These funny Monday jokes will help you make it through the week.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Knock! Knock! Who's there?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Knock! Knock!

Q: Who’s there?
A: Control Freak.
Q: Con…
A: Okay, now you say, “Control Freak who?”

Here are more knock knock jokes that are genuinely funny!

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - A woman in labour suddenly shoutedPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

A woman in labour suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”

“Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - A bear walks into a barPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey… and a cola.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure. I was born with them.”

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?

He was just going through a stage.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a little space.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Why don't scientists trust atoms?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

If that made you smile, you won’t want to miss these funny physics jokes.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Why did the chicken go to the seance?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the chicken go to the séance?

To get to the other side.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Where are average things manufactured?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Where are average things manufactured?

The satisfactory.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - How do you drown a hipster?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

How do you drown a hipster?

Throw him in the mainstream.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - What does a nosy pepper do?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business!

Memorize these funny jokes for National Tell a Joke Day (August 16)!

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - why are pirates called piratesPhoto: RD.ca

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrgh!

Impress a history buff with these hilarious history jokes.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

These are the funniest lawyer jokes of all time.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - How do you keep a bagel from getting away?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

How do you keep a bagel from getting away?

Put lox on it.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Doctor jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”

For more funny jokes to make everyone laugh, check out this roundup of hilarious tweets!

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - What kind of exercise do lazy people do?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - Why don't Calculus majors throw house parties?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties?

Because you should never drink and derive.

These smart light bulb jokes are truly illuminating.

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Jokes to make anyone laugh - What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

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What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack?

The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

Keep these funny holiday jokes in mind for your next party.

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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

Here are 25 funny cat GIFs that are purr-fect for every occasion.

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Why should the number 288 never be mentionedPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

It’s two gross.

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Tin Man jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller?

“Curses! Foil again!”

Here are 50 of the best knock knock jokes for kids.

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Bald man jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?

Thanks— I’ll never part with it!

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Short jokes - What rhymes with orangePhoto: RD.ca

What rhymes with orange

No it doesn’t.

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What did the left eye say to the right eye?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

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What do you call a fake noodle?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

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How do you make a tissue dance?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

Will you be toasting a bride and groom in the near future? These funny wedding jokes could come in handy.

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What did the 0 say to the 8?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt!

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Pony jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little horse.

Found that funny? You’ll love these corny Halloween jokes.

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What did one hat say to the other?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did one hat say to the other?

You wait here. I’ll go on a head.

Check out our countdown of the 100 funniest quotes of all time.

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Magic dog jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador.

Don’t miss this collection of our favourite funny dog cartoons.

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Shark jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?

This tastes a little funny.

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What's orange and sounds like a carrot?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What’s orange and sounds like a carrot?

A parrot.

Check out the most Canadian headlines of all time.

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Dinosaur jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent.

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Short jokes - And then it dawned on mePhoto: RD.ca

I waited all night to see where the sun would rise…

…And then it dawned on me.

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Pirate jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey.

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Frog jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

Check out our all-time funniest work jokes.

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Buffalo jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?

Bison.

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What is an astronaut's favourite part on a computer?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What is an astronaut’s favourite part on a computer?

The space bar.

Everyone can relate to these funny tweets about technology.

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Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition?

Because it was cultured.

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Grammar jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?

Re-Morse code.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He drank the coffee before it was cool.

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Scrabble jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles.

He kept leaving little messages around the house.

Calling all word nerds! You’ll love these clever thesaurus jokes.

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Marriage jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

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Calendar jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

These funny sleep jokes will have you laughing in bed.

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Short jokes - Time flies like an arrowPhoto: RD.ca

Time flies like an arrow…

Fruit flies like a banana.

It doesn’t have to be April Fool’s Day to appreciate these hilarious real life prank stories!

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Poetry jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

Check out more cheesy pick up lines that are good for a laugh (if not love!).

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Batman jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

The batroom.

For more groan-worthy dad jokes worth of Phil Dunphy, check out our favourite Modern Family quotes of all time.

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Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling.

These funny tweets about food are sure to put a smile on your face.

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What do you get from a pampered cow?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

These silly cow jokes will lighten your moo-d.

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Basketball jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?

They dribble all the time.

These hilarious golf jokes are better than a hole in one.

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What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

Don’t miss this roundup of dog jokes that’ll have you howling with laughter.

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Why did the M&M go to school?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

Don’t miss these funny tweets every parent can relate to.

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Why do bees have sticky hair?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honeycombs.

These bad dad jokes are sure to make you laugh out loud.

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Short jokes - What did the cop say to his belly button? Photo: RD.ca

What did the cop say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

Find out more clean jokes you can share with the family.

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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthdayPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Having trouble crafting the perfect message for a birthday card? Try these funny birthday jokes!

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Root beer jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

Check out these witty bar jokes anyone can remember.

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Why aren't koalas actual bears?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

Want to turn someone’s frown upside down? Try giving them one of these funny compliments!

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Rest in peace to boiling waterPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Rest in peace to boiling water.

You will be mist.

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Animal jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.

Here, parents reveal the funniest things their kids have said.

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Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw blood.

Don’t miss these funny doctor jokes.

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How do you throw a space party?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

How do you throw a space party?

You planet.

Check out these up-and-coming Canadian comedians—and their best jokes!

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Numbers jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.

21.

It doesn’t have to be Pi Day (March 14) to bring out these funny math jokes!

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Baseball jokePhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

All of the fans left.

These hilarious DIY jokes will bring down the house!

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What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?

A chew-chew train.

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Math jokesPhoto: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counsellor?

It needed help figuring out its problems.

These funny work cartoons were made for sharing at the office.

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Why can't male ants sink?Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com

Why can’t male ants sink?

They’re buoy-ant.

For more funny jokes to make anyone laugh, check out the best Canadian jokes of all time!

Reader's Digest
Originally Published on Reader's Digest