File your hygiene complaints in the round bin
“You’ve heard of ‘If I fits, I sits’? Well this is the corollary ‘If its clean dishes, I squishes.'” Got a cute kitty? Don’t miss these tips from the Cat Whisperer.
The internet is no place to horse around
“Do not, I repeat, do not Google ‘hot fillies near you’! I swear those pictures were not all what I was expecting.” Funny animal pictures are one thing; these photos of the world’s cutest tiny animals are another.
Can I have my spin-off sequel now, Disney?
“I did it, guys! I finally found Nemo!! Tank you, tank you very much.”
These are the three things you’ll never find in Disney movies.
Hey, who you calling pencil neck?
“My boss says I’m head and shoulders above the competition. Of course, I work with chimps and rhinos so…” Don’t miss this amazing photography of the world’s biggest living animals.
This is what happens when I don’t get my beauty sleep
“Ack, don’t look at me! Morning light is so harsh and I haven’t had time to put on my makeup yet! These wrinkles are killing me.” Feeling the weight of the years? These brilliant quotes will make you feel better about getting older.
These cheeks don’t lie
“Gluttony? I would never! What do you mean I have ‘cheeks of guilt’? I have no idea where that pile of bird food went. I’m putting the ‘munk’ back in ‘chipmunk’!” Ready to saw “awwww”? Check out these cute animals you didn’t even know existed!
I got bad genetics, maaaaan!
“I think my comb-over is very subtle and realistic looking. No one will ever know I’m balding!”
Remember Dolly the Sheep? She made our roundup of famous animals that changed history!
Who’s a good boy now?
“Oh sure, everyone thinks dressing dogs up in human clothes and putting them on human furniture is the cutest thing. Well, I just peed on this couch. And Ralph over there is two seconds from chewing the leg off. Everybody smiiiile!” Think you know your canines? See if you can guess these dog breeds based on a single picture.
Two penguins are better than one
“We’re holding hands! Wait, we don’t have hands! It’s fine, we’re penguins; it’s even cuter this way! High five, er, fin!”
Did you know that penguins can form monogamous relationships that last their whole lives?
I’m ready for my close up
“Don’t tell me to smile; this IS my happy face!”
Strange but true: These animal species basically live forever!
Where’s that little lion cub?
“Ahhhhsevenya! Adabeebeebabwa! It’s the circle, the circle of liiiiiife! Feel free to sing along if you like—everyone knows the words. And by that, I mean everyone knows some words… maybe not the right words but definitely some words!”
Remember the Taco Bell dog? We found out what happened to some of the world’s most famous animals.
It’s Mr. Toad to you
“You can’t catch warts from me, my legs do not taste good in butter, and if you kiss me I will not turn into a prince. Are we done here?”
Can’t resist dogs in fancy dress? Check out these adorable photos of Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund!
Politics is what the block button was invented for
“My face when people get political on Facebook. Is it a rule that every argument must end with someone being called Hitler?” Don’t miss these funny political quotes (and insults) you can’t help but laugh at.
Who wants to play ‘lice or rice’?
“Now hold still, I am popping this zit whether you like it or not! Don’t you know how popular these ‘popping’ videos are on YouTube? Thanks to your acne, we’ll be millionaires.”
Check out the funniest one-liners on the internet!
I can see right through your lies, child
The face your mom makes when you say you called her on Sunday but she figured out how to find her call history—and you ain’t on it.
Think ostriches look odd? Check out these crazy shots of the world’s weirdest looking birds.
I may be brown but the milk still isn’t chocolate
“I have a juicy rump? Why thank you, I don’t want to brag but the other cows do call me JMoo.”
Wait, where does ham come from?
“Stop looking at me like I’m a snack! I can see how you could be confused but ‘ham’ stands for hamster, not guinea pig.”
Don’t miss these funny pet stories that prove we’ll do anything for our favourite animals.
The news is a snooze
“Fetch me my slippers, human! And where’s my coffee? This paper isn’t going to read itself. Although that would be nice because I can’t read it either. Because I’m a dog.” Do you know the 15 signs your dog is secretly mad at you?
John Lennon was a secret cat
“Yes, I know these aren’t traditional cat-eye frames but I’m telling you they’re still real cat-eye glasses. It doesn’t get any more real than me, baby!”
Looking for even more laughs? Check out the 10 funniest cat videos on YouTube!
Dirty gutter water is the perfect drink, bath water is poison!
“Don’t say the ‘B’ word around me! No, not that ‘B’ word—I’m a female dog, it’s fine. I meant don’t say the other ‘B’ word, as in b-a-t-h…. yikes!”
Here’s the real reason your dog freaks out during a thunderstorm.
Do I have something stuck in my teeth?
“I brought you something! I picked it myself! Out of your garden! That I may or may not have just dug up! You’re welcome! Give me a treat!”
You won’t believe what these six dog breeds looked like 100 years ago!
I’m no birdbrain
“Hey, pretty chickadee! What’s a bird like you doing alone in a place like this? Can I buy you some seed?”
You know you’ve spent too much time on Instagram when…
“These are the eyes of someone who has spent too many hours on social media. I just can’t look away. Hold me.”
Psst—this is the crazy reason why cats are afraid of cucumbers!
First comes love…
“He gave me a ring! And I said yes! I can totally see why you humans get so excited about giving each other rings now!” Hey human, if you like these funny animal pictures, you’ll love these 20 dog puns will give you paws.
I’m on a list somewhere?
“Look, I don’t know how this rumor got started but I didn’t follow some little girl to school. That’s creepy. I don’t even know anybody named Mary. Also, do I look little to you?”
This is the face of innocence
“There’s barf in your shoe? I have no idea how that got there! Maybe the dog did it. We don’t have a dog? Maybe your shoe is magic and instead of gold coins you get barf. I cannot lie! Look at this face!”
Could you tell if your furry friend was feeling blue? Learn how to spot the subtle signs your cat is depressed.
I don’t snore, you snore
“They were not kidding when they said not to mix Ambien and drinking. I mean I was just drinking water but still.”
These are the four sure signs your dog trusts you.
Get your licks in
“Doctor? I thought you yelled for a boxer! Don’t worry, my nurse is a corgi. We’ll have you better lickety-split. We are very good at licking disease… among other things.”
Here are the 13 best dogs for apartments and other small spaces.
Cats do like baths, so long as it’s their idea
“If you had just let me have my own bath bomb in the tub we wouldn’t be having this uncomfortable conversation.” Psst—this is what dog and cat years really mean.
Sign me up!
My face when I hear about that new herb that science says will make you lose ten pounds in a week.
Sad but true: You probably didn’t realize these 11 species were on the endangered list.
We named him Adonis
“Isn’t my baby just the cutest baby you’ve ever seen? Isn’t he so precious? Isn’t he the most perfect little nugget? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Don’t miss this hilarious collection of short jokes anyone can remember!
And where is all the furniture?
This time, it’s really true. There IS an elephant in the room. And we definitely need to talk about it.
Here are 50 more corny jokes that will make you grin—and groan!
I have seen some THINGS
“So you know how you always see birds and squirrels on those high voltage wires? And you wonder how they never get electrocuted? Well, that’s just cause you don’t see the fried critters. Never again, man, never again.”
Don’t miss our roundup of the best Reader’s Digest jokes of all time!
And I definitely wasn’t texting at this late hour
When your mom comes to check on you at bedtime and you have to pretend you weren’t reading comics under the blanket. Add in a snore or two to make it extra convincing.
Here are 20 hilarious jokes grammar nerds will appreciate.
I’m a tough chick
“Stop talking about me like I’m a piece of meat! There’s more to me than breasts and thighs! Like gizzards for example. Why does nobody like those, anyhow?”
Check out these beautiful Canadian birds captured on camera.
I pro snow dog!
“Wait for me, human! I help! I shovel too! I totally know how to use this thing… I mean it’s basically just a big stick, right?”
Don’t miss this hilarious gallery of dogs dressed up for Halloween!
It’s your fault for spoiling us
“Of course this is what we do when you’re not home. Wait until 2 o’clock, that’s when we all drag our butts across your new carpet.”
Here’s the real reason your cat “kneads.”
Or maybe it’s just a big yawn? I get confused still.
“I a big scary tiger! Be all the scared! I sed RAWR. Give me your moneyz. Or mice.” Here are 53 secrets your pet won’t tell you.
Bear necessities takes on a whole new meaning
“You say ‘toothpaste and deodorant’, I say ‘dessert.’ Don’t knock it ’till you try it.”
Take a journey to the heart of Canada’s only grizzly bear sanctuary.
No you’re the cutest!
“We’ve never had a single fight in our entire marriage! That we can remember! You know what they say, the most perfect couples have the most imperfect memories.”
Who is this Hedwig you speak of?
“For the last time, Harry Potter is fictional! No, I can’t deliver a letter for you. That’s why God invented carrier pigeons! What did JK Rowling have against pigeons?”
Don’t miss these hilarious Harry Potter jokes every muggle should know!
I’m also a pretty good hoofer
“Canada’s cows got talent! My special talent? Picking my nose with my tongue! Oh you can lick your own lips? How cute.” Check out this adorable photography of Canada’s cutest pets!