Hilarious Struggles That Every Parent Will Relate To

A celebration of those moments when all you can do is laugh.

If you’re unable to handle rejection, then you shouldn’t be in showbiz or a parent. —Scott Porteous, Winnipeg

The price of gas made me cave and get my six-year-old that pony for her birthday. —@devonesawa

Accomplish whatever tasks you have today with the confidence of a kid who claims to have brushed their teeth. —@homewithpeanut

My daughter told me that my belly is squishier than a pillow, so I’ll be accepting applications for a new heir. —@katiedeal99

Me: How’s your pancake?
My three-year-old rubbing the pancake on his face: It’s soft. —@notmythirdrodeo

My five-year-old daughter is confident, happy and not afraid to speak her mind. All these amazing qualities come out at once when she announces to her entire class that she has to poop. —@gfishandnuggets

My daughter just learned about evolution and is now mourning that she didn’t morph from a kitten. —@mom_tho

I’m trying to be grateful for one thing each day. Today I’m grateful that my kids are old enough to make their own dinner after they tell me they hate my cooking. —@sweetmomissa

Love when kids rename things. For example, my kids call snacks “nackies,” granola bars “nolas” and homemade meals “do we have anything else to eat?” —@mommajessiec

Me: We’re going to a surprise party today.
My six-year-old: For me?
Me: No. It’s not your birthday.
My six-year-old: I know. I would be surprised. —@xplodingunicorn

My five-year-old got in the car this morning and asked if we “should roll the windows down and party” and I think I need to approach everything with that level of energy from now on. —@whinecheezits

If I ever want to hear about all the injustice in the world, I just ask my 12-year-old to clear the table after dinner. —@threetimedaddy

Ninety per cent of parenting is convincing your children to participate in basic life necessities. Eat. Sleep. Shower. Repeat. —@kidversations_

My daughter can’t find her glasses, her shoes or her backpack, but she can spot a sliver of onion in a bowl of rice from 10 feet away.

I told my kids they had to share a doughnut and they whipped out a ruler, protractor, scale and magnifying glass. —@struggledisplay

Parenting tip: To keep your kids quiet in the car, let them throw the crumbs from their seats out the window for the birds. For 10 minutes my car was quiet and now it’s a little cleaner. —@fullofmonsense

No parenting book can prepare you for when your three-year-old literally sticks her finger in your nostril and says, “Hey Mom, smell this!” —@wordesse

My son just said IKEA is grown-up Legos and I’ve never felt more connected and seen. —@anagasteyer

Check out more hilarious tweets every parent can relate to.

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Reader's Digest Canada
Originally Published in Reader's Digest Canada