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13 Funny Dad Quotes to Use This Father’s Day

Can’t find the right words for dad this Father’s Day? Take inspiration from these funny quotes by the likes of Jon Stewart, Jimmy Fallon, Mark Twain, and more.

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South Asian father and sonPhoto: Shutterstock

Jerry Seinfeld

“You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”

Here are 13 Things You Didn’t Know About Father’s Day.

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Father and son bikingPhoto: Shutterstock

Dave Attell

“When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a drunk guy who wears a cape.”

This Father’s Day, take Dad out for something that you both can enjoy.

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Father and daughter playingPhoto: Shutterstock

Rita Rudner

“I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.”

Check out these 10 Honest Marriage Quotes from Famous Men.

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World's Best Dad mugPhoto: Shutterstock

Bob Odenkirk

“My daughter got me a “World’s Best Dad” mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”

Here are 6 Annoying Speaking Habits You Have, According to Science.

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Father and son fightingPhoto: Shutterstock

Stewart Francis

“Even though I’m proud by dad invented the rear-view mirror, we’re not as close as we appear.”

These page-turners will give you and your dad something to talk about this Father’s Day!

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Family celebrating Father's DayPhoto: Shutterstock

Jimmy Fallon

“Father’s Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honour Dad, it’s the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.”

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Father driving with toddlerPhoto: Shutterstock

Rodney Dangerfield

“Me and my dad used to play tag. He’d drive.”

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Dad with newbornPhoto: Shutterstock

Erma Bombeck

“We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, ‘He wants his mother.'”

These offbeat baby names are about to be everywhere!

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Multigenerational familyPhoto: Shutterstock

Clarence Darrow

“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.”

Here are tips on how to care for aging parents, even from a distance.

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Mother and son cookingPhoto: Shutterstock

James Breakwell

Four-year-old: Tell me a scary story!
Me: One time little people popped out of your mom, and they never stopped asking questions.
Four-year-old: Why?

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Father and son fishingPhoto: Shutterstock

Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

Here are five ways that parental pressure can backfire.

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Family of four moving into new homePhoto: Shutterstock

John Kinnear

“Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.”

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Husband and wife with newbornPhoto: Shutterstock

Jon Stewart

“Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.”

Originally Published in Reader's Digest