Hilarious History Jokes That Are Sure to Make You Smile
You don't have to be a history buff to find these jokes hilarious—but it might help!
Royal regrets
How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?
Baroque.
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Straight outta Groan-land
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code! —@welovehistory
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An executive order
“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” —Ronald Reagan
These jokes about sleep will have you chuckling in bed.
Dark humour
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
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Spring thing
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
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One lump or two?
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?
Because proper tea is theft.
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A presidential quip
“In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” —President John Adams
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Washington’s habits
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie.
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Some things never change
“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.” —Elayne Boosler, comedian
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It’s all Greek to me
Trojan general: “We are at war with Greece and must not drop our guard at any time.”
Trojan soldier: “Sir, the enemy has given us a giant wooden horse.”
Trojan general: “Great, bring it in!” —@nickeldoodle
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Corsican roots
Teacher: Can you describe for me Napoleon’s origin?
Student: ‘Course I can!
Once you’ve got these funny history jokes memorized, check out the best Canadian jokes of all time.
