Hilarious History Jokes That Are Sure to Make You Smile
You don't have to be a history buff to find these jokes hilarious—but it might help!
A Roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, “Five beers, please!”
How did Louis XIV feel after completing the Palace of Versailles?
These DIY jokes will bring down the house!
Straight outta Groan-land
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages?
A: Norse code! —@welovehistory
An executive order
“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency—even if I’m in a Cabinet meeting.” —Ronald Reagan
Here are more jokes about sleep that will leave you laughing in bed.
Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Here are more hilarious puns!
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
History not your strong suit? Here are some silly physics jokes every science-lover will appreciate.
One lump or two?
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?
Because proper tea is theft.
Here are more clever jokes that make you sound smart.
A presidential quip
“In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.” —President John Adams
Check out the funniest Reader’s Digest jokes of all time.
Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?
Because he couldn’t lie.
These hilarious golf jokes are better than a hole in one.
Some things never change
“My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.” —Elayne Boosler, comedian
Check out these witty bar jokes anyone can remember.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th.
Check out more hilarious math jokes!
It’s all Greek to me
Trojan general: “We are at war with Greece and must not drop our guard at any time.”
Trojan soldier: “Sir, the enemy has given us a giant wooden horse.”
Trojan general: “Great, bring it in!” —@nickeldoodle
Every word nerd will appreciate these funny grammar jokes.
Teacher: Can you describe for me Napoleon’s origin?
Student: ‘Course I can!
Once you’ve got these funny history jokes memorized, check out the best Canadian jokes of all time.