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25 Funny Quotes From The Office to Live By

To say The Office is binge-worthy is an understatement—the classic sitcom only gets funnier with repeat viewings. Here are hilarious (and totally relatable) The Office quotes you can apply to everyday life.

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The Office Quotes - Michael ScottPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Michael on leadership

“Would I rather be feared or loved? That’s easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2, “The Fight”

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The Office Quotes - Dwight SchrutePhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Dwight on office gossip

“Studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work.”

—Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 1, “The Alliance”

These hilarious work jokes will help you make it through the week.

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The Office Quotes - Jim and PamPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Pam on social anxiety

“They say if you’re nervous around someone, picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on. Or a funny coat.”

—Pam Beesley, The Office, Season 4, “Fun Run” 

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The Office Quotes - Jim HalpertPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

 Jim on motivation

“I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try.”

—Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 4, “Job Fair”

Here are 50 (genuinely) inspirational quotes that will lift you up.

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The Office Quotes - Michael ScottPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Michael on going with the flow

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.”

—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5, “The Duel”

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The Office Quotes - AndyPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Andy on first impressions

“I’ll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and never breaking off a handshake. I’m always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter… that makes stairs.”

—Andy Bernard, The Office, Season 3, “The Merger”

Don’t miss our roundup of classic quotes from The Sopranos.

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The Office Quotes - KellyPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Kelly on self-control

“I mean, who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that?”

—Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 4, “Money”

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The Office Quotes - StanleyPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Stanley on saying sorry

“It’s like I used to tell my wife: I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong. And if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to my next one, too.”

—Stanley Hudson, The Office, Season 4, “Did I Stutter?”

These quotes about forgiveness will inspire you to set aside your differences.

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The Office Quotes - Michael ScottPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Michael on insecurity

“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.”

—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4, “Fun Run”

Looking for some home-grown humour? Check out the funniest Canadian jokes of all time.

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The Office Quotes - CreedPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Creed on survival

“The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive like I did when I was a homeless man.”

—Creed Bratton, The Office, Season 3, “Product Recall”

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The Office Quotes - RyanPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Ryan on getting stuff done right

“I’m such a perfectionist that I’d kinda rather not do it at all, than do a crappy version.”

—Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 6, “Shareholder Meeting”

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The Office Quotes - AngelaPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Angela on being a cat lover

“If you pray hard enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.”

—Angela Martin, The Office, Season 9, “New Guys”

(Angela would appreciate this roundup of funny cat GIFs for every occasion.)

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The Office Quotes - Michael ScottPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Michael on accepting your flaws

“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So, sue me.”

—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4, “Fun Run”

Don’t miss our collection of funny quotes from Kim’s Convenience.

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The Office Quotes - Dwight SchrutePhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Dwight on loyalty

“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.”

—Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 2, “Halloween”

These corny Halloween jokes are sure to make you smile.

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The Office Quotes - Jim and PamPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Pam on children

“I am not great with kids. But I want to get better because I’m getting married. So, I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids would come talk to me… like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.”

—Pam Beesley, The Office, Season 2, “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”

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The Office Quotes - Jim HalpertPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Jim on the difficulties of parenting

“Having a baby is exhausting. Having two babies? Now that’s just mean.”

—Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 6, “New Leads”

Here are 100 funny tweets every parent will relate to.

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The Office Quotes - Angela, Oscar and KevinPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Kevin on treating yourself

“I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman’s gotta take off his cape.”

—Kevin Malone, The Office, Season 8, “Special Project”

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The Office Quotes - ErinPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Erin on spontaneity

“Planking is one of those things where, eh, you either get it or you don’t. And I don’t. But I am so excited to be a part of it.”

—Erin Hannon, The Office, Season 8, “The List”

Do you tend to have trouble making it to the punchline? Here are 75 short jokes anyone can remember!

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The Office Quotes - Michael ScottPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Michael on grieving

“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”

—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 3, “Grief Counseling”

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The Office Quotes - OscarPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Oscar on financial literacy

“I just wanted you to know that you can’t just say the word ‘bankruptcy’ and expect anything to happen.”

—Oscar Martinez, The Office, Season 4, “Money”

Here are 25 knock-knock jokes that are genuinely funny!

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The Office Quotes - TobyPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Toby on bad days

“I am so sick of February. It’s the shortest month but it sure doesn’t feel that way.”

—Toby Flenderson, The Office, Season 9, “Moving On”

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The Office Quotes - DarrylPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Darryl on brutal honesty

“So, the guy shows me the deck he’s built. And I’m like, ‘I’ll call this a deck if it’ll make you happy… but this is just a porch without a roof.'”

—Darryl Philbin, The Office, Season 6, “Happy Hour”

These DIY jokes will bring down the house.

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The Office Quotes - AngelaPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Angela on trendy weddings

“I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo.”

—Angela Martin, The Office, Season 5, “Customer Survey”

Here are 200 funny marriage jokes that are perfect for a wedding.

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The Office Quotes - RyanPhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Ryan on being antisocial

“I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.”

—Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 3, “A Benihana Christmas”

Don’t miss our roundup of the all-time funniest Schitt’s Creek quotes.

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The Office Quotes - Dwight SchrutePhoto: Facebook.com/TheOfficeTV

Dwight on heroism

“Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the Commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.”

—Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3, “The Negotiation”

Next, check out the funniest comedies on Netflix right now.