25 Quotes From The Office That’ll Have You Laughing All Over Again
To say The Office is binge-worthy is an understatement—the classic sitcom only gets funnier with repeat viewings. Here are hilarious (and totally relatable) The Office quotes you can apply to everyday life.
The Office Quotes That Made Us Laugh the Hardest
Michael on leadership
“Would I rather be feared or loved? That’s easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”
—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2, “The Fight”
Dwight on office gossip
“Studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work.”
—Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 1, “The Alliance”
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Pam on social anxiety
“They say if you’re nervous around someone, picture them naked. I do not recommend this strategy. Try picturing them with more clothes on. Or a funny coat.”
—Pam Beesley, The Office, Season 4, “Fun Run”
Jim on motivation
“I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try.”
—Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 4, “Job Fair”
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Andy on first impressions
“I’ll be the number-two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring and never breaking off a handshake. I’m always thinking one step ahead. Like a carpenter… that makes stairs.”
—Andy Bernard, The Office, Season 3, “The Merger”
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Kelly on self-control
“I mean, who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of game is that?”
—Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 4, “Money”
Stanley on saying sorry
“It’s like I used to tell my wife: I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong. And if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife and I’ll say it to my next one, too.”
—Stanley Hudson, The Office, Season 4, “Did I Stutter?”
If your partner pushes the limits of “in sickness and in health,” you’ll relate to this hilarious story.
Michael on insecurity
“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.”
—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4, “Fun Run”
Creed on survival
“The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive like I did when I was a homeless man.”
—Creed Bratton, The Office, Season 3, “Product Recall”
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Angela on being a cat lover
“If you pray hard enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.”
—Angela Martin, The Office, Season 9, “New Guys”
(Angela would appreciate this roundup of funny cat GIFs for every occasion.)
Michael on accepting your flaws
“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So, sue me.”
—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 4, “Fun Run”
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Dwight on loyalty
“Would I ever leave this company? Look, I’m all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I’m being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly… I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most.”
—Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 2, “Halloween”
These corny Halloween jokes are sure to make you smile.
Pam on children
“I am not great with kids. But I want to get better because I’m getting married. So, I put out a bunch of extra candy on my desk so the kids would come talk to me… like the witch in Hansel and Gretel.”
—Pam Beesley, The Office, Season 2, “Take Your Daughter to Work Day”
Jim on the difficulties of parenting
“Having a baby is exhausting. Having two babies? Now that’s just mean.”
—Jim Halpert, The Office, Season 6, “New Leads”
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Kevin on treating yourself
“I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman’s gotta take off his cape.”
—Kevin Malone, The Office, Season 8, “Special Project”
Here are 10 signs it’s time to take a vacation.
Erin on spontaneity
“Planking is one of those things where, eh, you either get it or you don’t. And I don’t. But I am so excited to be a part of it.”
—Erin Hannon, The Office, Season 8, “The List”
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Michael on grieving
“Society teaches us that having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.”
—Michael Scott, The Office, Season 3, “Grief Counseling”
Oscar on financial literacy
“I just wanted you to know that you can’t just say the word ‘bankruptcy’ and expect anything to happen.”
—Oscar Martinez, The Office, Season 4, “Money”
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Toby on bad days
“I am so sick of February. It’s the shortest month but it sure doesn’t feel that way.”
—Toby Flenderson, The Office, Season 9, “Moving On”
These Monday jokes capture exactly the same vibe!
Darryl on brutal honesty
“So, the guy shows me the deck he’s built. And I’m like, ‘I’ll call this a deck if it’ll make you happy… but this is just a porch without a roof.'”
—Darryl Philbin, The Office, Season 6, “Happy Hour”
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Angela on trendy weddings
“I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo.”
—Angela Martin, The Office, Season 5, “Customer Survey”
Check out our favourite wedding jokes for toasting (and roasting!) the bride and groom.
Ryan on being antisocial
“I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.”
—Ryan Howard, The Office, Season 3, “A Benihana Christmas”
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Dwight on heroism
“Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the Commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.”
—Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3, “The Negotiation”
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