You Don’t Have to Be a Word Nerd to Find These Jokes Funny (But It Might Help)
Q: What did the clown say to the thesaurus? A: Put in a good word for me!
These thesaurus jokes are a punster’s paradise
Are you a word nerd? A lover of bon mots? You’re in the right place. Whether the thesaurus is your friend or foe (your confidante or nemesis), it’s a book to keep on hand (hereabouts or accessible) so you can find a word that’s just right (consummate, first-rate, and dandy!). Plus, etymology is comedy gold, people. Get ready for some wordplay—all puns intended!
Raising the bar
A dictionary, an encyclopedia, and a thesaurus walk into a bar.
The mixologist takes one look at them and quips, “What is this—a jest, mockery, target practice, repartee, facetiousness, drollery, banter, or a knee-slapper?”
You won’t have a hard time remembering these witty bar jokes.
Going ape
Did you hear the one about the monkey who could read the thesaurus?
He was hanging on every word.
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Mother tongue
What’s another word in the thesaurus for mother?
Can’t say. Mum’s the word!
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Book him
What did the book reviewer say about the thesaurus?
Don’t arbitrate, assess, decree, estimate, mediate, reckon with, evaluate, or appraise a book by its cover.
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Spoken in jest
What did the clown say to the thesaurus?
Put in a good word for me!
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Tyrannosaurus flex
What’s the best reference book for Neanderthals?
The Thesaurusaurus.
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Best-seller twist
Famous book titles if the authors had used a thesaurus:
- The Grapes of Exasperation
- 50 Penumbras of Silvery-Ash
- The Ravenousness Competitions
- An Adieu to Limbs
- The Supremo of the Circlets
See how easy it is to wreck a good thing? That was a massacre! A bloodbath! Thesaurus-cide! John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath is a beautifully eloquent title. And E.L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey sounds like poetry compared to that. Did you even recognize The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins? Actually, maybe Ernest Hemingway should have gone with An Adieu to Limbs over A Farewell to Arms? And let’s round out the list with J. R. R. Tolkien’s orbicularly titled The Lord of the Rings.
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Movie madness
Five famous movie lines rewritten with a thesaurus:
- “Here’s being observant of you, child.”
- “May the fortitude be with you.”
- “I’m going to make him a countersuggestion he can’t repudiate.”
- “You possessed me at ‘salutation.'”
- “Forsooth, my pet, I don’t give a doodley-squat!”
Ouch! Way to siphon out all the wit, Thesaurus! Did you recognize your favorite movie lines from Casablanca and Star Wars? How intimidating would Don Corleone have been in The Godfather if he’d consulted a thesaurus? You had me at “don’t use a thesaurus,” Jerry Maguire! Wouldn’t you like to hear Rhett Butler say doodley-squat at the end of Gone with the Wind? Um, yeah, maybe not.
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Start the day with a pun
What do lexicographers prefer for breakfast?
Synonym rolls.
These doctor jokes will have you in stitches.
Five famous song lyrics revamped with a thesaurus:
- “Rah, rah, ah, ah, ah. Roma, roma, ma. Gaga, ooh, la, la, want your lousy infatuation.”
- “You can’t consistently apprehend what you hanker for.”
- “Come on, baby, enkindle my inferno.”
- “Bindlestiffs like us, baby, we were spawned to scamper.”
- “Like a gangplank over anxious H2O, I will situate myself down.”
Did you recognize your favourite tunes? Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance—ring a bell? And also, You Can’t Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones. How about some Light My Fire by the Doors? And then there’s Bruce Springsteen with Born to Run. Finally, how much gratitude do we have for the fact that Simon and Garfunkel probably didn’t use a thesaurus when they wrote Bridge Over Troubled Water? That said, some lyrics are confusing just as they are.
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All you can eat
Why did the writer stop using his thesaurus?
Because he bit off more than he could masticate.
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Book learnin’
What do logophiles do when you tell them to hit the books?
First, they consult their thesaurus. Next, they swat, thwack, larrup, spank, bust, sock, wallop, punch, and clobber the literary paperbound publications.
If you enjoyed these thesaurus jokes, be sure to check out our all-time favourite knock knock jokes.
