When You Don’t Like the People in His Life
You love your sweetie, you just don’t happen to like some of the people in his life. If you don’t know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em, here are some strategies to help you figure out what to do.
You love your sweetie to pieces. Some of the people close to him, on the other hand, are people you may have come close to tearing to pieces. Unless you plan to be in a tug‐of‐war with certain people in your guy’s life, you’ll have to learn some coping strategies to deal with them. Whether it’s his mom, best bud or ex-flame, divine.ca has advice on what to do to make being around the important people in your guy’s life a pleasant, or at the very least, bearable experience.
Evaluate the relationship
Is it even worth it to get yourself into a tizzy over this person? First, establish the nature of your guy’s relationship to the person you are having trouble getting along with. Is it someone you will only see once a year at the family holiday gathering? Then it may be worth it to keep a tight lip and just grin and bear it at the next family function. If this person does have a closer relationship to your guy then it’ll be worth it to spend time getting to know this person.
Get to know each other
Come up with a plan of how to get to know this person better. Perhaps suggest a day where the two of you can spend time getting to know each other. Plan an activity revolving around an interest that both of you happen to share. The person may even be open to getting to know you too but just never had the opportunity to. Even if you still don’t end up getting along, at least you’ll be able to say you tried.
Initiate a frank discussion
If you gave getting to know the person a real try and found that you truly don’t get along, your next attempt is to have a heartfelt communication with them. Whether you decide to let your feelings known by email, over the phone, in a handwritten letter or face‐to‐face, you want to emphasize that you care about your guy and you know this person does too. You may never be each other’s best friends, and you don’t have to be, however, an agreement with this person for the two of you to behave civil and pleasant towards each other should be reached if it is ultimately your guy’s happiness you’re both after,
Have a heart‐to‐heart with your guy
In the case where the person you’re experiencing issues with is unwilling to communicate with you, sit down with your guy to talk to him about the situation. State your case without being accusatory or focusing on the other person’s behaviour. If you have valid reasons for not liking this person, your guy will be sensitive and understanding about it and will hopefully take it upon himself to talk to this person about their unacceptable behaviour towards you. If he thinks you’re overreacting and refuses to get involved, ask yourself how much you value your relationship with him and how okay you are with this person being a permanent fixture in both of your lives. Only you know the answer of how much you’re willing to put up with.
Remove yourself from the situation
It’s not fair to demand of your guy that he stop seeing his mom or best friend so resist going the drastic route of giving him an “it’s me or them” ultimatum. Instead, preserve your own sanity by not subjecting yourself to unnecessary get‐togethers with this person. Avoiding holidays and your in‐laws’ 30th anniversary party may not be an option but who’s to say you have to visit your guy’s parents every time he does? Or if your guy has his buddy over for an evening to watch the game, make plans for a girls’ night out. This way, you reduce opportunity for conflict while nurturing some of your own friendships and being in the company of people who you like.
By Martha Li for divine.ca
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