13 Crazy Things Your Pizza Guy Won’t Tell You

By Maureen MackeyUpdated: Mar. 20, 2019

Love pizza? Get smart about ordering with these 13 things the pizza guy won’t tell you, but wish you knew before calling.

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Things Your Pizza Guy Won’t Tell You: Be Ready Before Ordering

One thing the pizza guy won’t tell you (but wishes he could): My other line is ringing, so choose the toppings before you call. Remember: It’s a pizza, not a lifetime commitment.

2 / 13

Things Your Pizza Guy Won’t Tell You: I Wasn’t Born Yesterday

They know when kids are prank-calling, but the pizza guy won’t tell you that. He’s too busy!

3 / 13

What Pizza Deliverers Won’t Say: Accidents Happen

Something you’ll never hear the pizza guy say: If I drop your pizza on the way, sometimes I’ll shake the box to get the cheese to slide back on right.

(Photo: Creatas/Thinkstock)

4 / 13

A Message from the Pizza Guy: Patience, please!

Something you should know: It takes about 20 minutes to go from raw dough to fully baked pizza. And then I have to drive to your house.

(Photo: istockphoto/Thinkstock)

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Secrets from the Pizza Guy: We Won’t Deliver Everywhere

Here’s a pizza guy secret: In some neighbourhoods, a kid getting out of a car with a pizza in his hands is like screaming, “Rob me! I have cash!” That’s why we won’t deliver to some neighbourhoods.

(Photo: Stockbyte/Thinkstock)

6 / 13

The Pizza Guy Reminds You: I’m a Human Being

The pizza guy wants you to know: When you see me drenched and shivering in the rain, it’s not nice to close the door in my face while you search for some quarters in the sofa cushions.

(Photo: Jupiterimages/BananaStock/Thinkstock)

7 / 13

Pizza Guy is Too Polite to Say: Use Your Manners

The pizza guy won’t say it, so we will: When you open the door, please hang up your cell phone or put it down. It’s basic etiquette.

(Photo: Jupiterimages/Polka Dot/Thinkstock)

8 / 13

Things You Won’t Hear from the Pizza Guy: Decency is Appreciated

You’ll never hear this from the pizza guys, but they’re thinking it: Before you open the door, I’d prefer that you have a shirt on (and definitely some pants).

(Photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock)

9 / 13

Pizza Deliverers Won’t Say It: Tips Should Be 10 to 15 Percent

Pizza delivery drivers are too polite, and too buys. But, ff you order a lot of pizza-say, hundreds of dollars’ worth, for a party or something-but give a $1 tip, well, they’re going to have a problem with that.

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Pizza Guy Secret: The Best Tippers Aren’t Who You’d Expect

The pizza guy knows (though it may surprise you): The more gated the community, the more guarded the wallet. The best tips actually come from middle- and lower-class people who know what they go through.

(Photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock)

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Know This: The Pizza Guy Remembers Who Doesn’t Tip

I won’t do anything to jeopardize my job, but shaking the soda on the next delivery would not be out of the question.

(Photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock)

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Pizza Guy Won’t Reveal: He Can’t Wait Forever

This pizza guy is reluctant to reveal that he’ll knock on your door three times and call you on the phone twice. But that’s it! If you don’t answer, don’t call later to complain that you didn’t get your food.

(Photo: Jupiterimages/Goodshoot/Thinkstock)

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Pizza Guy Stories They Don’t Share: Some People Want More Than Pizza

One pizza guy was reluctant to share this story: A guy once ordered pizza just so he’d have some help moving his sofa up a flight of stairs. He gave a few extra bucks.

(Photo: iStockphoto/Thinkstock)

Originally Published: April 25, 2012